The Ghost of Two Years Passed.

Today, I was bored. And I was on Facebook. I was thinking of a friend of mine who I've known on and off for 5 years now. Right now, I haven't really spoken to her for a while. And I used to talk to her a lot last year. So I thought, what the heck, and clicked on the 'See Friendship' option on my profile. I was going through the old posts and I was hit by this wave of nostalgia. So many old experiences and inside jokes, now relegated to corners of my mind. I sat back for a while and let it swirl around me.

And then, I went through my old photos. I saw old comments, from years ago, from friends I no longer talk to, from experiences I regret, things I'm embarrassed about, things I regret I did in a certain way, good times, crazy nights, things I was scared of but now would scoff at, etc.

I made my FB profile only like 3 years ago. And most of this activity is from Jan 2011 to the present. Though, there's lots of earlier stuff. So basically, it's the ghosts of two years. From Jan 2011 to Jan 2013.

I was thinking - So much change, would I have recognized my present self? So many things I could've done differently. So many friends lost, so many friends gained. So many forks in the road. But it all made me who I am now.

The whole experience was like gazing at the ruins of a fort. You can feel the empires and armies of the centuries grow and die around you and at the same time, you superimpose this image of the present on top of that.

You were there, but you weren't. You are here, but you aren't. You're somewhere in the middle, but you're also everywhere.

It's such a profound and humbling feeling, the events of the past few months led up to this. I don't think it'll sink in for a while. I am awed and I have a new found respect for the enormity of human experience and human relationships which I don't think I'll forget. And it's not sudden either - It's more like a climax of months of thoughts and dreams and memories.

As I sit in this state of climax, the soundtrack that plays in my head is this lovely song I found today. It's by an Indian band called Them Clones.

I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing. I guess it just is. Things change, whether you want them to or not. There are loads of metaphors about the flow of time in Indian and Chinese philosophy, especially Buddhist teachings. You fight against the flow of time, and the water weathers you down. You. Just. Can't. Fight. It. Instead, you have to flow along with it. Adapt. Persevere.

And learn.

It does sound pretty obvious, but, it doesn't strike your consciousness and you try to ignore it or deny it for a while, to cling on to some semblance of stability, thinking that admitting change is something you're not ready for. It's something you read about and see in movies. But hindsight always sees through crystal clear lenses, as opposed to the present's rose tinted ones. 

Downbeat Bass Blues~

So I'd been feeling down for the past week or two. It was a weird sorta low. It wasn't an angry sorta low, but rather a frustrated, pensive low. I was seeking release and couldn't find any.

Then, I thought I'd listen to some music to help as usual. The usual stuff I listen to when I feel low didn't work this time because it was a different kind of low. I still craved release though. I thought about what I was feeling for a long long time. And it hit me what type of music I needed - Frustrated, spacey music.

I immediately put on some Yellow Magic Orchestra and Porcupine Tree.

The Porcupine Tree stuff in particular felt amazing. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I was listening to their old albums, like Stupid Dream, Signify, Up the Downstair and some others. The music was perfect for what I was feeling that time, though I'm not surprised, I'm pretty sure Wilson wrote most of those albums while in periods such as these!

An example :

So, I listened and took all the music in and let all the feelings be acknowledged, and in that moment, they weakened and dissolved. Finally could move on.

Ironic, as just the past month I had been listening to Porcupine Tree and I didn't feel much of a connect, and I was wondering why. I had been listening them to ages, but for the past half a year or so PT had stopped making a deeper connect/impact on me. I was thinking maybe I had heard too much of their stuff, grown out of it (if it's even possible to grow out of this sorta music), moved on, etc, but it didn't seem that was it.

Steven Wilson. Just what my iPod's shuffle ordered!

Gojira in India!!

Last night when I was on Facebook, I saw an official post from the Gojira site - They'll be playing in Bangalore on December 15th this year!

Here's the post - Gojira's Official Site.

This is awesome news for me and also for the Indian metal audience in general! I don't really identify with most of them, I'd say I identify more with the rock crowd, but still. This year, we've had :

• Suidakra
• Vildjhartha 
• OPETH (Second time)
• LAMB OF GOD (Second time)
• Korn
• Poets of The Fall (Second time)

And some others that I don't remember. What's next :

• Guns N' Roses (Without the old lineups no point lol)
• Behemoth
• SLAYER
• GOJIRA

Also, next year Slash will be touring India =)

Things are really shaping up for the scene here, and it's awesome! Here's the poster for the show -

I'll finish off by posting my favorite Gojira songs here :

• Oroborus 
• A Sight To Behold 
• Ocean Planet 
• Remembrance

I hope they include these songs in their set list when they play here :3 

Wabi-Sabi and Zen minimalism.

The Japanese aesthetic sense has always fascinated me. I can't help it. Japanese folk music, some Japanese popular music like jazz and classic rock, old Japanese art and Japanese literature and quite a few anime/manga seemed to embody this concept. I used to think this fascination was weird, because almost no one else shared it, but then as I grew older I found a few others who did. But by then it didn't matter too much to me because I didn't really need acceptance of it anymore. I was happy about it and I treasured it.

Recently, I read an article on Wikipedia about it. This Japanese world view is called Wabi-sabi (佗寂 in kanji) and was heavy influenced by Chinese and Indian Mahayana Buddhist philosophies (mainly Chinese) and is meant to embody the 3 marks of existence according to Buddhism - impermanence, suffering, and emptiness/absence of self nature.


These are recurring themes in Zen Buddhism (the predominant Buddhist school of thought in Japan) and apparently characteristics of this world view include "asymmetry, asperity (roughness or irregularity), simplicity, economy, austerity, modesty, intimacy and appreciation of the ingenuous integrity of natural objects and processes."

Well, I've always admired it silently, so I never really had to give it a name or defining characteristics, but when presented with them, I find that I agree with them wholeheartedly!

<sup>While looking around at the nearby library, I found a whole section on Indian and East Asian philosophies, of different kinds - modern, secular, "Hindu", Buddhist, Taoist, Confucian and others. But mainly "Hindu" (Indic is the term I prefer) and Buddhist. Reading these books in all that silence, with very little people sitting around, gave me a very pronounced wabi sabi-ish feel, that I really enjoyed. I made it more intense by simultaneously listening to music like jazz, jazz fusion and Hindustani music (I'm listening to Shivkumar Sharma's Hindustani santoor music while typing this!) 

Now, after all these years of enjoying this and picturing similar ideas in my head, I'm gonna give a shot at my own wabi sabi sorta stuff. For this I've decided to try starting with haiku - a Japanese poetic style that was based on wabi sabi and Zen minimalism. Popularized by English writers, its features include a total count of 17 syllables, usage of "season words" and lots of simplicity and imagery. 

I had this sudden flow of ideas and came up with a few. I decided to go against my punctuation perfection mini OCD and write without any punctuation (except for commas, for breaks). It was very hard to fight against, but in the end was strangely liberating(!)

~
moonlight shining down
himalayas in full bloom
 winter nights are here
~

This is is based on this mental image of the Indian/Tibetan Himalayas. The serenity of mountains has always had a special place in my mind.

~
silence and flowers
meditation in springtime
down in the valley
~

This is based on a mental image of The Valley of Flowers in India. And also, the temple city of Badrinath in Himalayan India, which is situated at an elevation of around 3,700 m above sea level (!!) Mountains have their own appeal. It's one of the places where nature is at it's strongest. No wonder the ancient Indian Vedic and Buddhist people claimed that the Himalayas were the abode of the gods and the place in the world with the most concentrated spirituality in them. 

~
beaches and date palms
with glasses of lemonade
- my perfect summer
 ~

This is based on mental images of Goan beaches and the Malabar coast. Goa especially is like India's own Rio, with it's decades of hippie culture, alcohol, beach houses, parties, foreign tourists, and history of hundreds of years of laid back Latin lifestyles. 

~
kailash in tibet
towers above the mundane
icy, lucid, peace
~

This was with Mt. Kailash in mind, a sacred mountain in Indian religions. The area around it is largely uninhabited, adding to the calm.

~
shlokas and farm life
- om mani padme hum
- glimpses of tibet
~

This was with Ladakh in mind. Ladakh is a region of Kashmir, India that is different from most of the rest of India in the respect that its culture is derived from Tibetian culture, and not Aryan culture as is the case in the rest of India (Except the south and some north east states). Though Ladakh isn't unique in that aspect - Some parts of Arunachal Pradesh and Sikkim in the north east have Tibetian peoples. Tibet itself is plagued with political instability and is pretty hard to get to travel in, so Indian Tibetan cultures are the closest I can get to that experience. And Ladakh is the most best place for that. Even today, you'll find Tibetan Buddhist monasteries and monks and prayer wheels and what not there. The traditional Tibetan life lives on.

~
forests and beaches
men sheltered in the three jewels
- the land of lanka
~

Last year, I had the fortune to get to visit Kandy and Colombo in Sri Lanka. It was a great experience and I loved it. It was superficially very similar to India, especially Tamil Nadu, but then after digging a bit I found it unique in its own way. The population isn't as insanely high, so the cities are very very free and nice to roam around in, and they have their own sense of calm, which calls to the mind a sorta Buddhist - Latin feel.

That's it for now. But I have plans to extend these ideas, into music, and maybe if I find a like minded person to draw, some art also.</sup> 
Let's see.

Visit List Update.

That's right - An update to my list (and my blog, after ages).

But this one's gonna be for places in Asia (but outside the Indian subcontinent), since I can't really afford to go outside of Asia on my own for now.

~
Cambodia -

• Siem Reap
• Angkor Wat
• Angkor Thom  
• Preah Vihear

Thailand -

• Bangkok
• Phuket
• Pattaya
• Phimai

Vietnam -

• Saigon
• Chu Chi tunnels

 Indonesia -

• The entire island of Bali
• Lombok Island
• Yogyakarta
• Borubudur
• Prambanan 

And, within Bali -

• Ubud
• Pura Besakih, Mt. Agung
• Tanah Lot
• Lovina Beach
• Pura Tirta Empul 
• Pura Ulun Danu Bratan
• Goa Lawah
• Taman Ayun

(Some of the material for the Bali bit is from this site - http://www.baliwaves.com/2009/06/bali-temples/)

 I've noticed most of the places (especially the historical ones) on my list are heavily Indianized sites, but the beauty is that they've added their own cultural take on it. For example Bali.

This, is a Shiva statue from Bali -

And, this is an Indian Shiva statue.

The Balinese one has this prominent Asian flavor to it. It's refreshing to see that sorta diversity, especially after seeing only the Indian or Chinese (mostly Indian for me) versions of stuff.

Also nice is the whole laid back South East Asian atmosphere. I love it and how it feels. It's there even in Singapore, though not as much in Malaysia though (those killjoy Malays. :|)

What's the point of living if you're not gonna look at the world from different perspectives and experience new environments anyway?

Weary and Gray.

I was looking around my computer and stuff, and found some old stuff that I wrote. This is one of them. It's not really written to any fixed rhyme or length pattern or anything. Kinda stream of consciousness I guess. Meant for it to be used it in an acoustic song.

~~
Weary and Gray
 
Somewhere over the rainbow
The seven colors converge into three
But not of the spectrum
The light from my halo dims
As I open the gate and walk past it
The world I left is the same as the one I enter
But for the color scheme
I look around

A bizzare fantasy
A purple moon against a dreamlit sky
With answers hidden somewhere
Somewhere among the clouds
A stark contrast to the expectations
Of the weary wanderer
His journey began
And yet begins again

Now here's a question
Which hurts more
Wounds closer to the surface
Or those deeper inside?
I wouldn't know
Because I can smile
Rattle rattle, was that a child's toy?
Or a snake?

"Excuse me, but
Could you look for my halo?
I think my halo's fallen off
On second thought
I don't think I need it
Where I'm going
Or rather
Where I am"

Play with matches
Learn your lesson
And a well taught one too
Practice makes perfect
But in this case
I'd rather pass
I've seen those green eyes before
And they mean trouble

I hold my head high
Now that its burden is lifted
Or rather, it fell off
Unceremoniously
And now I can gaze upon the truth
What is and not what was
Ascending I climb and close my eyes
To wake later

A crescent moon, my throne
Sipping a bittersweet nectar
Master of all that I survey
From my vantage point
In the dreamlit sky
Or am I? I doubt it
High on something low
Perspective bends

Everything I can see
Shades of grey
Thousands of them
Against the purple moon
Colorblind? I think not
A state of suspended animation as opposed to perpetual motion
Cheers.
~~

R.I.P. Jon Lord :'(

Today was a very mixed today for me in terms of good and bad. I slept though most classes in college and fooled around till 1 :30.

After that, I got home and listened to some music and ate and stuff. Then, I thought I'd meet up with some friends at the beach because it'd been a while.

So, I text two of them, and they agree to come to meet. I feel happy.

Later, another friend informs me that he'll be coming to the beach. I hadn't met him in months, so I was happy about that too.

I reach the beach early, as usual.

I run into a group of ex - schoolmates, many of whom I hadn't seen in at least a year. We have fun talking and joking and fooling around and stuff. It's been a while so we have a lot to say.

Then, they leave because they have plans.

I meet the friends I was planning to meet, and run into yet another old schoolmate who joins us. We hang out for the next 3 hours or so and we have good fun just talking and stuff.

Then, I reach home after everything, for dinner and rest.

At this point, an event organizer informs me that me and my friends might get a chance to have a gig (albeit small) at this venue we were trying to get to play at. (Finally! Hah.)


So good so far right?


So, we decide to do a Deep Purple cover, something I've always wanted to do since I really admire their work and musicianship and energy. I Google the song, and I notice this sentence.

"RIP Jon Lord"

It hits me really hard, and sudden. Denial is one of my first feelings. How can Jon Lord die? It really, really hits me. I sit, dumbstruck, for a minute or so. Then, I go to iTunes and play Soldier of Fortune. The song and its lyrics give me comfort. I continue listening to Purple songs, blocking out everything else for a while.

I've been a Deep Purple fan for a some years now, I've always loved their ability to fuse rock and roll, blues and classical/folk and present in it in a raw, powerful and racy package. Ritchie Blackmore's influenced me as a guitarist and so has Steve Morse. Ian Paice is one of my favorite rock drummers. Jon Lord... He was one my favorite keyboardists of all time, and I admired him a lot for his skill and unique style. In my mind, he was up there with Richard Wright and Ray Manzarek as one of the rock keyboard greats. He did a LOT for the keyboard in a rock setting. I always enjoyed his work and it's impeccable internal groove. From his Speed King duel solos to his Lazy blues fury to his Wasted Sunsets ballad style playing, he could do it all and still look cool. He was the rock keyboard beast.

I keep listening to more Purple songs. Then, I start thinking.

After a while, I get some solace from the fact that, even though he's dead physically, he lives on through his music, with Purple and otherwise. His organ solos, with their wails and raw Blues howls, and refined Bach - esque noodlings. The songs he wrote and helped write. They all carry a part of him, a part of his soul and his voice with them!

 The thought brings a smile to my face.

R.I.P Jonathan Douglas "Jon" Lord 
(9 June 1941-16 July 2012)

Nuclear Peace.

This is something I wrote in class today. Not sure if I'm gonna continue with it or not yet.

~
Nuclear Peace
H atoms tell us what to do,
They're so small and yet our masters.
They make the rules for me and you,
- One wrong step and the world is in threat.

Hiroshima is the temple,
Of this happy, worldwide cabal.
Peace now revolves around three words,
- Mutually assured destruction

*** 

The Not-So Amazing Spiderman.

It's July 1st already. College reopens on Wednesday.  >.< 
Gotta spend the few days I've got left wisely, and liv 4 lyf.


I saw the new Spiderman movie today. Slept at 4 in the morning and got up at 7:50 for it.
Wasn't worth it. :|


The movie moves way too fast and the important pivotal scenes like uncle Ben's shooting, the circumstances leading to them, the spider bite part and stuff are totally inaccurate. At least the last movie got those points right for the most part.


And this was supposed to "accurate". Yeah right.


There's no mention even of Harry Osborne or Mary Jane Watson. Dahell.


And to top it all off, there's not even a single instance of the "with great power comes great responsibility" line in the whole movie. SOULLESS.

Seafood Blues.

I was looking around on the net for stuff related to seafood safety, and I found these :

Which fish are okay to eat.
Fish population density in the northern Atlantic.

Pretty disturbing, especially since I *love* seafood. I mean, squid are dying out.
That's just sad. :\

It's worse with sea life because people take water pollution and overfishing for granted, compared to the attention given to poaching and hunting of land creatures. Especially with less educated/generally aware people.

If squid and lobster become extinct, in the words of the great Professor Farnsworth, I wouldn't want to live on this planet anymore!

Hopefully, there's still time for them.

The Eclipse of Humanity

Well, I was digging around a bit, and found some poetry I wrote, waay back when I was 14 or so.
It’s called The Eclipse of Humanity. Dark, very dark. *Shudders*
Ah well, here goes.
The Eclipse of Humanity 
~
As armageddon rumbles with chaos eternal,
the wind echoes with souls infernal.
Death is near,
Death is here.
An old warrior tells his comrades-
who are rotting to death, the poor ol’ lads
-"As long as this earthly wind shall blow,
evil shall be here, that I know.”
So as eclipses mark the death of mankind,
only death is within their mind.
Mankind has fallen, ’tis a big disgrace,
as life and death come face to face.
Oblivion appears as humans cower in fear,
“It is here,” they say, “Death is here.”
Anarchy and chaos rule supreme,
of light winning, ’tis just a dream.
~
Who wants candy?

Today Comes Today

This is something I wrote during college, around two months ago.

Sort of a poem, I guess. It's called, Today Comes Today

I've been reading about Indo Persian culture at the library, and some of their poetry. One of the most famous poetic styles of this culture, is the ghazal, with Mirza Ghalib being one of its pioneers and masters in Urdu. A ghazal is a poetic form, but with an unorthodox structure.

A ghazal is made of smaller sets of poetry, 2 lines each, called shers. Couplets, rather. Each line of the sher has the same number of syllables, in this case, 8 per line.

The form is something like,

A

A

B

A

C

A

D

A

And so on. I've not adhered to it strictly, almost everything ended up rhyming. I've not actually done this in a proper ghazal style, it's pretty rough, but I guess it's a start for later. 

The last sher is supposed to be a rhetorical question the writer asks himself, referring to himself with a pen name. I don't have one, so I've used Marcellus here, which is in a way the Roman equivalent of my Sanskrit name.

~
No man is an island they say,
But for one I set sail today.

Beaches and fruits and games to play,
I have got things to fail today.

She's got something she wants to say,
Time to look past her veil today?

"Let's rest, it's been rough all the way",
"Rest t makes a stale today".

To stare at the moon, oh so gray,
Just for a moment, not today.

To err is human, it's the way,
Day in and day out, till today.

Ask yourself, O Marcellus, have
You really done something today?
~

Exams Approach.

I've got my semester exams from Monday, and the last month or so of waiting has been totally killing me. >_<

Almost 3 weeks of doing nothing much but roaming around town and eating and watching movies and stuff.
Hah, I feel like a bum.

First exam's French - Meh, easy.

I've gotta go and give my guitar for service too, the damn tuning keys are acting up.

Oh well.

Driving Class Blues.

So, ever since I turned 18 I've wanted to learn to drive and ride a scooter properly, and get a license.

Turns out, it's taking longer than I expected. -___-
And it's annoying. Hopefully, I'll have learned *and* gotten the license by this month, but who knows?

Only time will tell...

I've got some trips planned for next month and this'd really really simplify things. Oh well.

Current Visit List.

Here's a sorta "to visit" list I've got, so far. Places that are possible for now ie. (That means in and around India, not self sufficient enough to go anywhere else on my own for now)

In India:
Bangalore (On a regular basis, ie)
Mangalore
Shillong
Calicut
Cochin
Rishikesh
Varanasi
Delhi
Srinagar
Leh

Around India:
Bangladesh (Apparently pretty safe)

• Chittagong
• Cox's Bazar
• Dhaka

Nepal (No visa required + cheap + fun xD)

• Kathmandu
• Everest Foothills
• India/Nepal border crossing
• Numerous other small places